Fell Out Of Love

Woke up one day realizing I don’t love you anymore.

Are there kinder ways to tell you my feelings were gone?

Will you accept it?

I wish I can go back to the time when I was crazily in love with you.

-Writings from 2018

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I wrote this for you

I know this is late coz we no longer see each other any more.
But I just gonna write this even if there is a slim chance that you would be able to read this.
It is not everyday that I had the chance to meet a person who I am comfortable being with.
Who will calm all the demons inside me but at the same time make them all go mad.
I always knew that whatever we were doing or whatever we had will eventually end.
And that it will leave me in unbearable pain.It did. Big time, believe me.
Letting the one you love slip away, you should know was not easy.
This kind of love will not happen to me twice but I just cant fight.
So I am writing not for you to love me back but to let go of all my feelings for you.
And to let you know how you were once loved.
How fascinated I was by the way you told me about your dreams and plans.
How eager you were every time you made me listen to a new song that you like and I pretended not to be interested but would listen to them secretly.
How calm you looked while you were sleeping.
I guess that I will always remember you.

-2016 archives

Things I should have told you

4/13/18:

I didn’t tell you but the reason for my lack of sleep last night was because I got excited about meeting you again. I kept imagining how you were doing the past years that we didn’t get to see each other and if you are still the same just like the last time. I can still remember the last time we had dinner. It was something I wanted for so long to happen so I can tell you all the reasons why I love you but then ended up just talking about trivial things. And when we said our goodbye, I was surprised by your kiss. It has given me hope that you might still feel the same way as I did.
I wanted so bad to hug you and tell you that hey I didn’t change.
And if I could only be completely honest with you in a perfect world where no one will get hurt, I will tell you boldly that I never stopped loving you.

Try

We both have tried.

But we didn't know that trying does not guarantee anything.

We didn't try enough for us to work out.

We didn't say the words for us to stay longer.

We just gave up.

We stopped.

The connection we once thought was strong has now gone weak even loss.

And we didn't know why.

Or perhaps we just deny.

That there are parts of me you refuse to love or things about you I fail to recognize.

And even if I wanna try again.

It will be too late.

When you are occupied with someone else's love now.